Funny how things happen...
The Deep Woods of Freedom Loving America,
01-09-2006 @ 0900 hrs: Our area of late has experienced a rash of house breaks.
Apparently our local crack heads were out enjoying the unusually warm weather and just
happened to brake into three houses this morning and steal two cars. The day was
shaping up quite nicely for Thing 1 & Thing 2! Then along came a local police
cruiser. Being the police & being that all policemen are curious they spotted
the dynamic duo's car and turned around to investigate. The suspects apparently were
not paying attention when they turned into yet another unsuspecting red voting American's
yard to loot & pillage. The Clown patrol were in the process of breaking into
this house when the cruiser interrupted them. One suspect was taken into custody on
the spot and the other ran for it (THEY always want to run).
Ever been involved in a man hunt? Then you have never had an adrenaline rush before! YAHOO, the chase was on. All the surrounding towns responded, and even the State Police entered the fray by providing several cruisers and helicopter. The area in question is woods and swamp so the suspect had that going for him. Police cruisers don't drive well under those conditions and besides...THEY always get tired of running!!.
By 1530 hrs. (3:30pm) the perimeter had been expanded by miles in circumference. Enter the COMMAND CADDY.
Mr. Dee had been in another town following up
on a break-in from earlier in the day and was piloting the COMMAND CADDY towards home.
You see, Mr. Dee doesn't own the COMMAND CADDY. That would be like an Air
Force jet jockey saying he owns his F-15. On the contrary, that pilot's Uncle owns
the F-15. So you see, the COMMAND CADDY well it may have started out on the GM
production line, but after that... well let's just say its real on the outside and real
expensive on the inside and the entity that owns it...he has really deep pockets.
Back to the story... Mr. Dee pierced through the law enforcement perimeter and
minutes late was flagged down by our suspect, Thing 2. (The COMMAND CADDY has seductive
powers like this, we think it's the paint). Apparently thinking it was maybe a
fellow crack head Thing 2 emerged like a scared deer from the wood line. Mr. Dee
obliged by pulling over and Thing 2 ran up to the car panting like a dog chased doe,
opened the door and proceeded to get in. It was then our crack headed Thing 2 felt
the ominous pressure of Mr. Dee's brand new Glock
45's (only been fired once) barrel against the side of his head. Thing 2 exited the car
post haste but was apprehended within seconds (THEY love to run).
The COMMAND CADDY now sports a criminal type "tally" decal for one in the books. And people dont think we have a sense of humor. Silly crooks. Thats it for now.